Monday, January 11, 2010

Debunking the Myth: Why I am not Crazy, and the reveal of Crazy Cat Lady.

OK, so if you read Emily's blog, you know that once upon a writer's group we discovered that writers tend to be a little crazy, and that each of us was in some respect or another, a little bit wack.

We took a vote. And these, my friends, are the reasons why I am not crazy:

1. I've never had a brain tumor, or any tumor for that matter. I remain tumor-free.
2. I sleep in the same bed as my husband. All night long.
3. I do not touch the locks on all the doors before I can safely retire to said bed.
4. I am not afraid of fast-growing, vine like plants. In fact, I have one in my bathroom.
5. If we are at a restaurant and have been waiting long past our given "wait time," I have been nominated as one of two individuals in The SIX (the other individual is obviously The Bouncer) who should approach the hostess, because I have that look ... the look that says "Take me seriously and find us a table."
6. I have zero food allergies.

These reasons were apparently overlooked:
1. My husband is the official King of Wikipedia. (Note: We do not donate to Wikipedia)
2. I am a redhead. I married a redhead. That, is craziness!
3. I paid money for Thing #1 and Thing #2, seen here taking their Sun
day afternoon nap.

4. My dreams are right out of The DaVinci Code, writing in blood and everything.
5. My car is yellow. Crazy Yellow!

And I'm not really sure why I'm less crazy than Kim. She must have that crazy look about her ... And now there's proof: Video of her crazy cat lady look! (She's the one holding the cat in the video ... petting it and everything!) Cr-azy.
That's my story, what's yours?


  1. Okay, I'm not THAT kind of cat lady. And I DON'T wear the fuzzy striped socks you gave me to the mailbox. So there, I hereby nominate myself as #6 instead of #5.

  2. Okay, I don't think those are very good reasons. I could totally say the same things. . . almost.
    1) I have never had a brain tumor.
    2) I sleep in the same bed as my hubby despite the fact that he snores like a friend of mine who shall remain nameless.
    3)I do not touch all the locks before bed.
    4) I am only mildly afraid of the vine.
    5) I am the bouncer (well, technically Sec. of Defense.)
    6) I have zero food allergies. (I'm just allergic to a lot of other stuff.)

    Someday I will make a list for you of other things that were casually mentioning you almost got killed when you got into an accident on the freeway on your motorcycle.

  3. Kim -- for the record, my socks were not striped. Just bright green.

    And Valynne -- you are not tumor-free. And casually mentioning accidents is what you're supposed to do when you're in a room full of crazy women. I wouldn't want to frighten them into comas. And who doesn't snore? I mean, really, snoring is totally natural.

  4. You do know that the supposed "vine" in the bathroom is dead. Who's afraid of a dead vine? And shall we talk about the pillow fetish? You seemed to overlook that one in your list of reasons you could be crazy. And since I shared with everyone else, I am honoring your request and sharing the latest Wikipedia entry with you as well:

    And thank you Valynne for confirming the snoring. In the mouth of two or three witnesses....

  5. Popped over from Brodi's blog to say hi.

    If those are the requirements for NOT being crazy, I'm probably in trouble...


  6. I think #5 is suspect. If you have "that look" that gets you a table, it probably means the waiter/tress is thinking "Oh, she looks crazy. Better get her a table."
    Just saying.

  7. I agree with Misty on #5. I also think that the overlooked #2 should practically guarantee you a higher ranking in the list of crazies. And since Brodi has proven that she cannot, in fact, ever be a redhead, she should probably be moved lower in the list.

  8. Yeah for new bloggers! I love the not crazy and crazy things about you. I think your next post should be one of those crazy tag things where you name 25 random things about yourself. It's interesting the kinds of things people come up with.

  9. HA! Oh my goodness love the crazy & not crazy list! I'm afraid to attempt any such list I think the crazies might win out.