Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Why everyone should be pregnant at Christmas ...

It sounds odd, but I think every woman should go through the Holidays in a very pregnant state at least once and here's why:

10. People have to be nice to you. You can't be a Bah Humbug to a waddling basketball. You just can't.

9. Everyone carries your stuff. Cuz ya know, I can't. It's nice.

8. Strange old women at the grocery stores are too busy to come over and rub your belly. This is a true bonus.

7. Once the nesting kicks in you actually look forward to all the Christmas baking and tomfoolery. Have I mentioned that I made 8 dozen truffles in the last 2 days? I'm quite proud.

6. You get to eat all the goodies you want. And the truffle count is down to 6 dozen ... and dropping. But who wouldn't eat those? Mmm. 5 dozen. (Note: This picture is totally for Emily, who makes taking pictures of great food into quite the hobby.)
5. I don't need a coat. I take my own heater everywhere and completely avoid going from too cold outside to too hot inside.

4. I don't have to worry about looking good for family pictures. I just let that belly hang on out there.

3. You're totally allowed to forget stuff: Didn't send a Christmas card to Uncle Lewis? Sorry ... pregnant brain. Happens. Better luck next year.

2. No one asks you to plan anything. It would be more stress. :)

1. Holiday weight gain is expected, demanded by doctors even!

And now for a news bulletin: If you don't have awesome Holiday plans you should join me and my awesome writer's group, The SIX, for our minutes of fame at 7:00 p.m. MST (9:00 p.m. EST) tomorrow, Dec. 16th.

We will be doing an interview on how to have an awesome writing group like ours and how most of us (not me ... yet) have broken into the publishing world and dominated! Yes, DOMINATED!

Here's how to participate:

1: At the appointed time, dial
(long distance charges may apply, depending on your phone plan)

2: Enter the Conference Code: 245657

3: To raise your hand and ask a question, dial 5*

4: To Mute yourself, dial 4*

For more information, you can visit their site at

Friday, December 3, 2010

How writing a book is like your Christmas Tree

This year I've drawn a lot of parallels between my Christmas Tree and my manuscript. More parallels than I'd like to admit. To point them all out would make this the world's longest blog entry.

So, I'll just tell the story of our Christmas tree drama and let you find your own parallels. Or not, if you're awesome and everything goes your way, in which case kindly keep it to yourself! Your awesomeness won't be appreciated at my house today. I'll probably throw gingerbread at you.

Let's begin. So ... you want to buy a Christmas Tree. A pretty one. That all will adore. And you bring home this (courtesy of Home Depot):
OK, so that's not really my tree, or my mantle, but I promise at one point mine looked just as lovely. Then I got two dogs and had a kid. And got pregnant again. And lost all sanity. Moving along.

Time passes. Up close things are great, but when you step back to look at Christmas Tree appearance #2: Not as pretty. The limbs are not all fluffed up, a couple bulbs have gone out, my plot is on a collision course and the star will not stay on straight.

Appearance #3: All hell has broken loose. Wires are all twisted and crossed, whole strands of lights have gone out and ran away with my main character, the star is falling off at regular intervals and the 2 year old has taken up residence in the lower branches, making writing just about impossible.Which brings us to today. Hours and days later, more replacement bulbs than I care to admit, a major reorganization of scenes complete with sticky notes covering every surface of my kitchen and we are getting close friends. Very close.

If you squint it looks pretty good, right? I mean aside from the whole bottom left side not lighting up, and we're not gonna talk about the backside ... who looks back there anyway?! There is a gem in there somewhere. Tell me you see it.
And Charlie Brown's tree turned out great, right?!